Greetings! Just in time for the new year and a trip to Surf Expo, where we will no doubt find things to review for you, our loyal Mullets, here is a quick rundown on our review policy, aided by some animated gifs because you’ve obviously missed those while CHUM has been on hiatus for two weeks. However it is back off hiatus this week, so if you are not subscribed, please fix that now:



Our Philosophy

Mullets are loving, happy fish. We travel in schools. If one of us goes to check something out, 1,000 of us will go check something out. We pride ourselves on being useful (after all, we’re used as bait by plenty of fishermen). We don’t have ferocious teeth. If we don’t like something, we’ll just swim away.

What does all of that mean, really?

Basically, we’re here to cover the paddling world. We cover everything and everyone, regardless of whether somebody advertises. If we recommend something it’s because we like it.

We aren’t paid to do reviews of products, and if we’re given a product, we disclose it at the bottom of the post with something like “FTC Disclosure blah blah blah blah” about how we got it and the views are our own, etc.

We borrow a lot of stuff from Carolina PaddleBoard Co. to try out, too, because they’re nearby and they’ve yet to figure out a way to say “no” that sticks. (Just kidding. They never say no. They’re awesome.)



We also buy a lot of stuff because we paddle, too, and if we buy it and like it, we might as well review it. These blog posts don’t write themselves!

Review Process

If we buy something, we review it when we get around to it. If someone sends us something to review, we also review it when we get around to it. We try to be timely, but we have a kerjillion things to do and reviewing gear is just one thing.

The process usually goes something like this.

  • We get thing to review.
  • We try it out as soon as we can.
  • If we like it and think it’s useful and recommend-worthy, we write a review.
  • If we think it needs major improvement or it is something that we can’t really stand behind, we email or call the manufacturer and give them our feedback and we don’t write a review.

Anything you see recommended on Distressed Mullet is something that we genuinely think is useful, either to us, or will be to one of our readers. (Sometimes we say what didn’t work for us in an otherwise positive review, but that might work for someone else.)

Praise in Public; Criticize in Private

There’s a difference between constructive discussion and out and out lambasting. You will never see anyone come on the Mullet (regulars or guests alike) and rip someone or something to shreds. That’s not how we work. Everyone is trying to make a living. It isn’t our job to yank the rug right out from under someone.

If we haven’t addressed a piece of gear or a brand on here, it might be because we haven’t had a chance to try it. Or, we might have tried it and concluded it wasn’t for us.

You can always ask! Feel free to email [email protected] John and I both get those emails.

What about those things we just don’t stop talking about?

Occasionally we find something that is just


And we love it as much as I love One Direction.

You will find us frequently giving shout outs to such things because we just can’t help ourselves.

That’s because we’re a business, but we’re also people and we get really excited.


Sometimes it just overflows. Go with it.


Product Presentations

There’s a difference between a gear review and a press release or product presentation (for lack of a better word).  If a company has a new board shape or paddle blade or a new product, we’ll put up their press release or info so that you know about it. We don’t express any sort of opinion in those. We just straight post the information for you so that you know about it. Usually we say “This just in from xxxx company.” or “Press Release: blah blah.” somewhere in the post.

In Conclusion

I feel like this was a really long excuse to use a bunch of gifs I’ve been saving up over the holidays, but really, here are your three key takeaways:

  1. If you want us to review something, ask us to review it. [email protected] We will do our level best to get to it ASAP. We don’t take payment for reviews, but we also need you to get the product to us, and if you want the product back, you need to send a return label or arrange for pickup. If you give it to us to keep, we put an FTC disclosure on the post. We have millions of page views per year, so we’re a good vehicle to get the word out.
  2. If you read a review on the site it is because we genuinely think that Mullet Nation would find the product useful.
  3. We don’t eviscerate things on here. We have columnists and we express personal views, but we don’t publish point by point takedowns of anything. If we’re discussing a need for improvement or a change or anything, we’re discussing–not ripping apart.